I
think I mentioned a couple of months back that October was going to be the
month to end all months. By that I mean, that October was going to be the month
where I accomplished everything needing accomplishing. I’m ashamed to say that
things are looking a little bleak. Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t
managed to accomplish anything. I have managed to qualify for the final round
of interviews for Teach for America. I have not, however, managed to start an
application for IU’S Higher Education Master’s program. I have not managed to
finish my application for Vanderbilt University. I haven’t even started an
application for the A.C.E teaching fellowship, and I still don’t know if I’ve
completely abandoned the idea of going for a P.HD in English Literature.
What’s strange is that for a second I thought I had figured it all out. I was
convinced that if I got the job with Teach for America, I would take it and
start my “adult” life. I would change lives. I would stand on top of students’
desks and passionately recite the poetry of Keats, Byron, and Coleridge. Those
ideals seem to fade into the background as reality begins to inch closer and
closer. Maybe it would be best to teach those who are already as passionate
about literature as I am. And, who’s to say that I would even be able to handle
the reading and writing that comes with graduate work in the humanities? I
don’t have much more time to think things over. Maybe I won’t get the job with
Teach for America. In fact, it’s statistically more likely that I won’t.
Who knows? Maybe that will force to make a decision. Wish me the best of luck.
I’ve got a lot of deliberating left to do.
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