I think I mentioned a couple of months back that October was going to be the month to end all months. By that I mean, that October was going to be the month where I accomplished everything needing accomplishing. I’m ashamed to say that things are looking a little bleak. Now, that’s not to say that I haven’t managed to accomplish anything. I have managed to qualify for the final round of interviews for Teach for America. I have not, however, managed to start an application for IU’S Higher Education Master’s program. I have not managed to finish my application for Vanderbilt University. I haven’t even started an application for the A.C.E teaching fellowship, and I still don’t know if I’ve completely abandoned the idea of going for a P.HD in English Literature.
What’s strange is that for a second I thought I had figured it all out. I was convinced that if I got the job with Teach for America, I would take it and start my “adult” life. I would change lives. I would stand on top of students’ desks and passionately recite the poetry of Keats, Byron, and Coleridge. Those ideals seem to fade into the background as reality begins to inch closer and closer. Maybe it would be best to teach those who are already as passionate about literature as I am. And, who’s to say that I would even be able to handle the reading and writing that comes with graduate work in the humanities? I don’t have much more time to think things over. Maybe I won’t get the job with Teach for America. In fact, it’s statistically more likely that I won’t. Who knows? Maybe that will force to make a decision. Wish me the best of luck. I’ve got a lot of deliberating left to do.